Our writer puts himself in the hands of a superfit instructor to see if he can hack the 'outdoor gym' on the Isle of WightI've always had a rather unhealthy relationship with exercise. The more I've abused my body with life's little pleasures, the more I've tried to sweat it out with sporadic bursts of activity. My die was cast by my friend's late dad, who was a PE teacher at our school. Vic maintained a rigorous daily workout in his garden gym well into his 80s, but he also enjoyed sucking down his B&H cigarettes and his Burton ales. Although he regretted his lifelong love affair with the weed, he always said his aim was to "stay fit enough to enjoy my vices".Which is why I'm on a Wildfitness course on the Isle of Wight. Because it's January, because I have a big birthday approaching and because I can't stand gyms.I will never have anything approaching the constitution or discipline that old Vic had even in his 80s. I sense it is now or never for me and a healthier lifestyle. The fags have to go and the beer intake has to be reduced. But I know it isn't going to happen if I join a gym, as they've always left me feeling like a battery chicken on a treadmill.I spend enough time cooped up indoors. What I need is a sustainable, free-range regime like Vic's with his battered old dumb bells and his weather-worn bench and the distressed punch bag hanging outside his back door. All I need is a kickstart.Wildfitness appeared to fit the bill. Its website promised a fun training programme in the great outdoors coupled with a healthy diet and plenty of rest and recuperation that should leave me feeling re-energised and buzzing with "raw energy". The idea behind the holidays, dreamed up by Tara Wood in 2001, is to debunk outdated fitness methods, such as indoor exercise machines, and to re-engage with nature and the evolutionary principles that kept us lean and fit for thousands of years.It taps into the movement towards a reconnection with nature that has gathered momentum over the past decade with activities such as foraging, camping, wild swimming and barefoot running. "Humans spent 200,000 years as hunter-gatherers adapting to life on the savannah. We were tall, strong, lean, fast, agile and fertile, yet we didn't need supplements or equipment to keep us fit and healthy. Nature provided everything we needed," according to Wildfitness's blurb.And that is how I come to find myself doing bunny hops across the springy, sodden turf of the southwest downs within an hour of arriving on the Isle of Wight. "Really?" I think as the fitness instructor Paul Ranson suggests we move on to a series of animal exercises after completing a gentle run up to the top of the downs. Bunny hops followed by a great lolloping bear crawl, a leopard stalking close to the ground and then an angry bouncing chimpanzee? All around us open fields roll out to the sea, and all I want to do is race down them. Paul, sensing my unease, coaxes me through the sequence. I do it, of course, all five minutes of it, and all through gritted teeth – because it is bloody exhausting.As I soon discover, these animal exercises are merely a playful warm-up to more strenuous activity. But they are engaging muscle groups that my body had long since forgotten it had, and I am already beginning to regret my scepticism at what I assumed to be primary school PE exercises.The Wildfitness programme is new this year to the Isle of Wight – its home camp is in Kenya, and there are other bases in Crete and Spain – and is being run by two irrepressible sisters who grew up on the island, Ro and Netta Pakenham-Walsh. They have mapped out an adventure playground after a lifetime of discovery along the beaches and the downs of the island. They source most of the ingredients for the meals from their parents' garden, including the honey from their hives. And they have secured the most magnificent of bases for what might otherwise pass as a somewhat abstemious, luxe-free break – NorthCourt Manor, a Jacobean pile set in 15 acres of gardens in which many of the activities take place.Over the next two days, in the shadow of its imposing walls, I attempt to remine some of the iron in my soul by completing circuits within its grounds and using its natural features as an outdoor gym. One of these sees me running up a bank on all fours, crawling across a lawn, hopping up a series of steps, jumping from a tree stump, hanging from a branch, throwing and running to retrieve a big rock, crawling under foliage, weaving through a bamboo plantation before running with a log. Not just one circuit, but to be repeated for 15 minutes.Preceding this was a dawn 5km run-cum-walk along the chalky cliffs overlooking Freshwater Bay, tracing a route from the Needles and peaking at Tennyson's monument. I have to confess to retching at the halfway point to the monument – a regrettable discharge of the light brigade. But that only served to sharpen my appetite for a breakfast of home-grown raspberries and yogurt and poached pears with honey, followed by a couple of Aga-fried eggs.There was also boxing training in the music room – we used to fight when we were hunter-gatherers of course – that included skipping (of sorts on my part), plank presses, squats and burpees before a session pounding the pads. If it sounds exhausting, it really was. The programme is graded for all levels of fitness, and Paul and Ro are exceptionally encouraging and enthusiastic coaches. Even though it often felt like murder at the time, and my body was crying out for mercy, as soon as I caught my breath and stopped sweating I felt more relaxed and re-energised than I had for years.Obviously science and machines have helped extend our life expectancy somewhat beyond that of our hunter-gatherer ancestors – not to mention the noticeable lack of threat from sabre-toothed tigers pacing the savannahs of our isles. Even so, I left a little righteous and a lot inspired. So much so that when I returned home I raced for the wilds of Tooting Common for the first time in years. And I aim to keep on going. After maybe one final fag. Just kidding. I hope.Essentials The first UK Wildfitness three-day break is 12-15 April, with prices from £650 for a standard shared room (020 3286 4886; wildfitness.com). Andy Pietrasik travelled to the Isle of Wight with Wightlink (0871 376 1000; wightlink.co.uk) on its 40-minute Portsmouth-Fishbourne crossing, one of three routes. A super-saver fare (for a car and four people) costs from £47 for up to four nights away
The biggest and brashest festival in the Alps; how to find affordable accommodation in London this summer; and last-minute romantic breaksTake me there: Snowbombing in AustriaNow in its 12th year, Snowbombing has snowballed to become the biggest, brashest and arguably the best festival in the Alps, attracting 6,000 revellers to the Tyrolean town of Mayrhofen for a week of live music, snowboarding and naked Jacuzzis. Dizzee Rascal has just been announced as the headline act (following a late cancellation from Snoop Dogg) and other highlights include a Fat Boy Slim street party, Arctic Disco in a huge igloo and ski lessons from Eddie the Eagle. Packages from £615 including accommodation, lift pass, festival wristband and return coach travel from London. Hurry, as tickets are expected to sell out (9-14 April; snowbombing.com).Travel clinic: Where to stay in London during the OlympicsThe dilemma We have friends coming over from Ireland for the Olympics. They've asked us to fix up their accommodation – something affordable that will give them "a taste of the real London". Help! Barbara and John, WarringtonJoanne replies A great way to get under the skin of a city and avoid rip-off hotel charges during the Olympics is to rent a private apartment. Two websites launched in the UK last year are making this easier – housetrip.com, which lists more than 700 apartments in London, and viveunique.com, which specialises in the city and has 200 vetted homes, from Hoxton loft conversions to Chelsea garden flats, with prices from £85 per night.Would your friends consider a home swap? Come July there will be no shortage of Londoners looking to escape the Olympic mayhem. The recently launched lovehomeswap.com has a tantalising array of properties on offer, and the only outlay is the £99 annual membership fee. You can also find home swaps on The Guardian's home exchange site.If they are serious about seeing the city through a Londoner's eyes, they could opt for a home stay, renting a room or apartment in a private house. The website airbnb.com has 3,000 listings for London, with user reviews and prices from £20 a night.• If you have a travel dilemma, email Joanne O'Connor at
. Three of the best… romantic Valentine's retreatsDon't panic. There's still time to treat your sweetheart to a romantic break next week. Here are three quirky love nests which are available for Valentine's Day1. Boulangerie, Paris They don't come much sweeter than this suite in a former bakery near the Eiffel Tower. From £83 per night (holidaylettings.co.uk/149086)2. The Three Sisters, Tallinn The Old Town oozes romance and this historic hotel makes the ultimate cosy retreat. From €226 (threesistershotel.com)3. The Boathouse at Knotts End, Ullswater On the lake shore, this 19th-century boathouse makes a stylish, secluded bolthole for two. £185 per night (i-escape.com)
Dredging a channel in Falmouth Bay could create jobs and bring more tourists. But the dispute will test European rules to protect ecosystemsFalmouth Bay is one of England's finest stretches of marine habitat, with a profusion of creeks that penetrate deep into the heart of the Cornish countryside, and oak woods covering the coastline. It is a distinctive, unspoiled landscape, protected by strict environmental legislation and enjoyed by thousands of tourists every summer.But the tranquillity of Falmouth could soon be disrupted. A controversial plan to dredge a channel through part of the bay to open up the port to giant cruise ships has caused consternation among conservationists. They say the proposal could devastate the bay, in particular its beds of maerl, a coral-like algae that provides homes for a variety of sea creatures that includes crabs and scallops. This view has been backed by the Marine Management Organisation which has so far blocked the dredging plan.The plan's supporters continue to press for action, however. They say dredging will cause little environmental damage and is crucial to a £100m port development for Falmouth that will bring hundreds of jobs to the south-west, a region badly hit by the recession. And the group has powerful backing.In November the chancellor, George Osborne, picked on the refusal to give the go-ahead to the Falmouth project as an example of the "gold-plating of EU rules on things like habitats" that was placing ridiculous costs on British business. He urged the project's approval and set up a government review of how EU directives on habitats and birds are being applied in England. Its specific remit is to reduce environmental "burdens on business". Many conservationists fear this review, to be published in March, could lead to a dangerous relaxation of rules governing EU protection of other UK habitats.The bid to dredge Falmouth Bay is, therefore, being watched closely. "If this project is allowed to go ahead, that could set an appalling precedent for all the other protected sites we have in the UK," said Tom Hardy, a marine conservation officer with the Cornwall Wildlife Trust which opposes the Falmouth dredging plan. "Britain's marine environment is woefully poorly protected as it is. This could open it up to all sorts of new developments justified on economic needs. It is very worrying."Other concerned groups include the RSPB which says that slackening the rules protecting Falmouth Bay could lead to other destructive projects being approved. These include plans to develop the Humber Estuary, build an island airport in the Thames and construct a tidal barrage power plant in the Severn.Those who back the Falmouth development plan insist the environmental issues raised by the plan have no implications for the rest of the UK. "The harbour waters in Falmouth are slowly silting up," said Captain Mark Sansom, the Falmouth Harbour Master, who has led the port development plan."At present, the waters there are about 5m deep at low tide. We want to dredge to make a channel that is 8.5m deep. That would allow really big cruise ships to moor at our docks. Passengers could disembark easily and enjoy trips to Land's End, Padstow and the Eden Project. Cruise companies are keen to add Falmouth to their list of UK destinations. It would be good for business in Cornwall. In addition, big ships would be able to get into our repair yards. Again that would be good for the local economy."Last year, about 22,000 passengers – from small to medium-sized cruise ships that can still get into Falmouth docks – visited the town. Some took coach tours to other Cornish destinations. Others thronged to visit shops selling local art and tourist goods. "If we can get the really big cruise ships in then we will get 100,000 a year into the town," added Sansom. "Many of these visitors will be German or American tourists with a lot of money to spend."Dredging the harbour will also be accompanied by new dock construction and the building of a marina at Falmouth, according to the development plan. However, its backers insist that these other proposals depend completely on the deepening of the harbour waters. "This project could bring up to 800 extra jobs to Falmouth and also protect the 450 existing jobs here," added Sansom.The project's key drawback lies with the fact that the proposed channel cuts through some of the bay's maerl beds. "Maerl is a form of seaweed that dies, calcifies and forms layers that have nooks and hollows in which all sorts of sea creatures – including juvenile fish and shellfish – make their homes," said Hardy. "It is an extremely important habitat and an economically valuable one. These beds are nurseries for crabs and scallops, for example."The maerl beds at Falmouth were a key factor in designating the bay a Special Area of Conservation under the EU Habitats Directive. As a result, when Falmouth Harbour Commissioners applied to dredge the channel they were turned down by the Marine Management Organisation – even though the new channel would affect only 2% of the bay's maerl beds. The decision dismayed many local businessmen."The environmental consequences have, to date, been the only ones considered by decision makers. That upsets me," said Pete Fraser, owner of Falmouth's Harbour Lights fish and chip restaurant. "We live in extremely challenging economic times, and the proposed dredging would be a massive boost to the struggling Cornish economy."Others disagree. "The material dredged up to make the channel would be dumped in another part of Falmouth Bay, right on top of one of our best fishing grounds," said fisherman Chris Bean. "We get lots of really good quality cod, haddock, whiting and pollock there. The bay's fishing grounds would be ruined if dredging went ahead."At present, the channel plan remains on hold. However, a project by Plymouth University scientists – set to begin in April – will attempt to discover if the harbour's maerl beds could be relocated in the bay without causing major disruption to the sea creatures who make homes in them. If the plan is feasible, the MMO could very well relent and approve the project. However, if the maerl relocation plan is rated a non-starter by the scientists, then the project will remain on hold – until the habitat directives review is completed by the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs.By slackening how the EU habitat directive is implemented, and giving business more influence over the outcome, the goverment could allow the Falmouth dredging – and many other projects – to proceed. "This could be the thin end of the wedge," added Tom Hardy. "It won't just be Falmouth dock development that gets the go-ahead but a lot of other unpleasant projects."
Harrogate may not be the first place you would think of for a city break, but these decadent boutique apartments are a great reason to visit the Yorkshire spa townIf it's all about location, Royal Parade Apartments in Harrogate, which opened just over a year ago, has got it both right and wrong. On the positive side, these three elegant self-catering properties are stacked like delicate sugar-dusted pancakes in the froufrou heart of Harrogate, opposite the Royal Pump Room Museum (harrogate.gov.uk), just down the hill from Bettys tearoom and the renovated Turkish Baths, and within a Farrah's toffee's throw of both a branch of Toast and Alan Titchmarsh's favourite public park, Valley Gardens (friendsofvalleygardens.co.uk).But is Harrogate really the place for such high style? London, Bath or Edinburgh would be more obvious destinations for accommodation of such a decadent kind. Harlow Carr gardens (rhs.org.uk) may be on the doorstep, but without a run of world-class museums or truly landmark attractions does Yorkshire's finest spa town promise enough entertainment to persuade more traditional city breakers to add a night here to their itinerary?Sleeping up to four, with one double bedroom and one double sofa bed, each apartment is a variation on a theme. Brooklyn, on the third floor, is a vision of salvage chic, second-floor Rajasthan is slightly more colourful, and eclectic first-floor Royale, my base for the night, is the most traditionally styled. Co-owner Janet Love has a background in antiques and interior design, and it shows. She admits she loves recycling old pieces, especially bits sourced from Gallery Forty One (galleryfortyone.co.uk) in London, and even in Royale there are plenty of nicely quirky items, such as the enormous studded metal coffee table, made from a ship's carcass, tucked in among the 17th-century fire irons, antique prints and French mirrors.Then there's breakfast. Though this is self-catering, all guests get the first meal of the day thrown in (private chefs can be arranged for other meals). I'm not sure this is strictly necessary but there was no complaining when I found the kitchen stocked with honey toasted muesli from the "organic with attitude" Side Oven Bakery, Truly Scrumpious bread (the company's own misspelling), Taylors teas, creamy organic Birchfield yoghurt and eggs so fresh they still had feathers on them – much of it from local food emporium Fodder (fodderweb.co.uk).Though Janet recommended a no-fuss dinner at the Restaurant Bar & Grill (therestaurantbarandgrill.co.uk) or "really amazing food" at Van Zeller (vanzellerrestaurants.co.uk), I settled for a quick pint at gaslit Hales Bar (halesbar.co.uk), Harrogate's oldest pub, before dinner with some local relatives. Staying here may be a bit like navigating a glitzy spaceship that's touched down in uncharted territory but beam me up any time.Follow Rhiannon on Twitter @rhiannonbatten
There are bizarrely fascinating curios at the Ripley's Believe It Or Not! 'odditorium' in London, but Emma Kennedy finds other exhibits leave her feeling rather uneasyAs I step through the front doors of Ripley's Believe It Or Not!, London's only "odditorium", I'm greeted by a woman gingerly fingering a shutter that bears a stark warning – Open At Your Own Risk. She picks at its edge nervously and then, with some encouragement from a friend, opens it suddenly to release a peal of bloodcurdling screams. Not hers. They're coming from the cupboard. She shuts it quickly, slightly embarrassed, and pops a lemon bonbon into her mouth as if to pretend it didn't just happen.I smile at her. She smiles back awkwardly and I wonder if Ripley's is going to be like this all the way through – a museum filled with slight embarrassments. I've never been to an odditorium before. It's a bit like a Victorian freak show and I'm not quite sure what to expect.Robert Ripley, an American illustrator, turned to cartooning strange sporting facts and began to develop an obsession for everything weird and wonderful. Before long, he was travelling the world collecting oddities – lambs with six legs, a huge ball of string found in a cow's stomach, or a sculpture of the Beatles made from chewing gum.I'm greeted in the entrance by a trio of mechanical waxworks. There's Francesco Lentini, a three-legged man playing the banjo. Next to him stands a Padaung woman, her neck trussed up with copper hoops, and inside a bird's cage to their left is the midget Alypius of Alexandria, who stood 17in high. I stare at them. They all have physical deformities. I can't help feeling a little uneasy.I'm being shown around by a woman called Jessica. She's been here for three years and has worked her way up, having started on the tills. She's lovely and has an easy charm that endears me to her from the off."I love it here," she tells me, showing me into the artists' section where she presses a button on the wall. A box in front of me lights up and I peer into it."What's that?" I ask."It's a portrait of Jimi Hendrix painted on dung," she tells me, happily. "It's done by an artist called Enrique Ramos. He was quite prolific."She's not fibbing. The lion's share of odder pieces are the work of Ramos. He's done a picture of Marilyn Monroe formed from dead butterflies, a portrait of a slightly cross-eyed Princess Diana made from discarded lint and a tableau of Charles and Diana's wedding in which the royal family are all ants."Enrique Ramos had quite a fertile imagination," I opine, staring through a magnifying glass at Prince Edward's head stuck on to the body of an upstanding ant.There's no doubt about it, Ripley's Believe It Or Not! is packed full of bizarre items such as a bust of Judas made out of toothpicks. In many ways, the fact that someone sat down and decided to make a bust of Judas entirely from toothpicks is an unadulterated joy, but there are also exhibits that feel as if they aren't entirely appropriate for modern sensibilities.Jessica presses another button and a waxwork of Grace McDaniels, the "mule faced woman" spins around to reveal her hideous and unfortunate facial deformity. I turn to Jessica. "Do you worry," I ask, "that these sort of exhibits are simply inviting people to think of disabilities as entertainment?"Jessica ponders this for a moment. "I don't think so," she answers. "I like to think they're celebrating these people's achievements. And it is historic. Although, having said that, Grace McDaniels had a terrible life." And then she proudly tells me how Ripley's is fully wheelchair accessible.Perhaps I'm being oversensitive and Jessica is right – there is a historical element which is acceptable for a museum to explore, but I doubt whether Grace McDaniels would imagine that her miserable life would be celebrated by a waxwork that spins. Anywhere that showcases people who have led a terrible existence simply because of the way they look, is treading a thin line.That gripe aside, there is much at Ripley's to enjoy and I suspect that children, especially, will love it. Do have a go in the Mirror Maze. Despite being freaked out by the fact I seemed to have a doppeleganger wandering around it at the same time, I made it through in eight minutes, 49 seconds. Beat that!Oh. And the building is haunted. "Avoid the upper areas," says Jessica, whispering.So for your entrance fee to Ripley's, you might see a ghost. Believe it. Or not!• The London Pavilion, I Piccadilly Circus, W1 (020-3238 0022, ripleyslondon.com). Adults £26.95, children £21.95, under-fours freeFollow Emma on Twitter @EmmaK67
Whether you're visiting for the rugby or the races, Gloucester Cathedral or Cheltenham Jazz Festival, it pays to know where to find good affordable restaurants, cafes and pubs
• See our interactive map of Britain's best budget restaurants • If we've missed your favourite, tell us on our blogCHELTENHAMVanillaIf you're looking for "cheap eats" you could easily overlook this smart basement restaurant. It is located below an upmarket hairdresser and beauty salon in one of Cheltenham's many handsome Regency buildings. The window, moreover, is dotted with Michelin stickers – not usually a signifier of keen value. But don't hover at the door: get in there, because Vanilla delivers sharp cooking at very competitive prices. Between 6pm and 7pm, it offers a two-course menu for £10. That menu is also available at lunch, alongside a selection of sandwiches, salads and simple mains. It is crowd-pleasing stuff, rendered with style and precision: Gloucester Old Spot sausage and mash; haddock fishcake with wilted baby chard and chive velouté; chicken liver parfait. Whisky and honey gravadlax (£7.50) arrived atop an incredibly light pillow of a blini, accompanied by clean, lemony blobs of creme fraiche, tangles of nicely modulated pickled beetroot and a mound of bright, sharply dressed salad leaves. The salmon's dressing smoothly melded honeyed sweetness and cockle-warming single malt flavours, too. • Lunch, sandwiches from £3.95, light meals/mains from £4. 9-10 Cambray Place, Cheltenham, 01242 228228, vanillainc.co.ukSveaThis small, charming Swedish restaurant is a cafe by day, offering decent, non-stewed filter coffee (£2.25) and first-rate baking (try the kanelbullar cinnamon buns, £1.90). The lunchtime menu runs from open sandwiches, such as the Hönö – falukorv sausage and cheese with a fried egg, served with a green salad – to the definitively Scandi Kungshamn – herrings, new potatoes, creme fraiche and crisp bread. A sample hagasmörgås on a thick slice of rustic bread is sound: the ever-so-slightly dry pork and beef meatballs coming alive when mixed with the creamy beetroot salad below. It is a happy to and fro of sweet and savoury flavours. On the menu you will find various useful phrases translated into Swedish, including "I hate flatpack furniture" and – either a typo or very subtle satire, this – "Sven bought out the best in English football". • Lunch, dishes £4.95-£9.95. 24 Rodney Road, Cheltenham, 01242 238134, sveacafe.co.ukThe SwanA literally and figuratively beige gastropub, complete with the obligatory Chesterfield sofa by the front door, the Swan won't win any awards for design originality, but the food is good, the price is right and the staff are on the ball. It is a perfectly if generically pleasant place to hang out. The kitchen uses good-quality artisan products, including O'Hagan's award-winning sausages, and air-dried ham and cured meats from Oxsprings in Worcestershire and Monmouthshire's Trealy Farm. A sample burger, topped with a fried sliced of Diana Smart's renowned, robustly flavoured double Gloucester, was spot on (£6, lunch menu). The coarse ground patty was well-seasoned with herbs, cooked to a moist pinky-purple and had a decent exterior char. The beer – the Swan has five real ale pumps – was also in excellent condition. A glass of Brakspear's Oxford Gold (pint from £3.30) sang with flavour, its bristling, almost peppery hop tang giving way to a mellow caramel sweetness. Food prices climb a little at night, but all the main dishes (sausage and mash, fish pie, ploughman's) come in under £10. • Lunch dishes from £4, evening mains from £7.95. 35-37 High Street, Cheltenham, 01242 243726, theswancheltenham.co.ukWell Walk Tea RoomLook closely at the myriad antiques that fill every nook of this (very friendly) tea room, and you will notice they are all priced. Who knew that you could pay £250 for a piece of what, to the untrained eye, looks like distinctly amateur 19th century needlepoint? Not that you'll be buying, of course. Not if you're travelling on a budget. Instead, you can take all this in, while enjoying some fantastic, traditional baking and speciality teas. Although, winningly, Well Walk serves no-nonsense Yorkshire Tea as its house brew. The pot arrived correctly primed with two bags, too. The baking includes several low-fat and coeliac-friendly options, which, judging by a slice of moist courgette cake filled with homemade raspberry jam, are much less worthy than you might imagine. The wider menu includes a variety of affordable old-school snacks, such as Gentleman's Relish on toast and potted stilton (£2.50). A retro soundtrack which toggles between Adam Faith, Frank Sinatra and similar icons adds to the convivial atmosphere. • Snacks and sandwiches from £2.50, cakes £2 a slice. 5-6 Well Walk, Cheltenham, 01242 574546, wellwalktearoom.co.ukSimpson'sSimpson's is one of those slick new-school chippies – half takeaway, half cafe – attempting to bring a modern foodist rigour to fish 'n' chips. It does the right things (sourcing sustainable cod from the Barents Sea; using freshly chipped local spuds; cooking to order as much as possible) and the result is a superior fish supper. The chips could have been a shade crisper, perhaps, but were buttery- soft within. The fish was great, encased in a light, nicely seasoned, largely greaseless batter. The only significant flaw was the homemade tartare sauce. Tartare should be clean, sharp and, preferably, full of capers and gherkins. Simpson's almost smooth version had a curious cloying sweetness. Not good. Still, overall it was worth the 20-30 minute walk from the centre. Away fans note: it is not far from Cheltenham Town's Whaddon Road ground. • Fish and chips from £5.75. 73-75 Priors Road, Cheltenham, 01242 521964; simpsonsfishandchips.co.ukRed PepperThere is a lot going on at chef Richard Whittle's three-storey cafe, deli and bistro. Scan the blackboards outside and you may well find a sub-£10 bargain on that evening's bistro menu. For instance, on the Thursday night I visited, you could snaffle a plate of gussied-up sausage and mash for £8.95. The bistro also offers a two-course £10.95 pre-theatre menu – the Everyman Theatre is just down the road. However, if you're really watching the pennies, get a takeaway, or head downstairs to the "coffee lounge", a rather dated basement of black floor tiles, red leather armchairs and blonde wood furniture. It serves from 9am to 5pm, the menu morphing from eggs Benedict, through a populist lunch menu (homemade burgers and pies, quiche and potato salad, pea and pesto risotto, around £6/£7) to late afternoon cakes from local bakery Vanilla Pod. The bourbon-spiked pecan pie is highly recommended. A sample smoked bacon and mushroom soup was very good. It delivered great fungi flavour, a slight smoky tang at the edges and, thanks to some tiny flecks of chilli, an understated base note of heat. To conceive and enact such a combination successfully takes thought and skill. • Coffee lounge, breakfast from £2.50, hot dishes from £4.15. 13 Regent Street, Cheltenham, 01242 253900, redpeppercheltenham.co.ukGLOUCESTERCafe El BahdjaGloucester is hardly the most frenetic of places, but this North African cafe is a notable oasis of calm, the dispatch of good food accomplished not with the usual crashing of pots, pans and plates, but smoothly under cover of esoteric ambient music. It is a place, perhaps, to linger after you have eaten over mint tea or El Bahdja's brilliant baklava. The menu includes lamb and chickpea harira soup, "ratatouille-style" chakchouka with baked eggs, minced beef borek and several tagines. A sample dish of Moroccan lentils served with a semolina-topped khobz bread roll was just the thing to brighten a wintry day. The lentils had been cooked with tomatoes and onions almost to the point of disintegration. The heat, such as it was, was residual and mellow. The whole thing was an advert for patient slow-cooking and the judicious use of sp...
It's billed as the UK's biggest restaurant, serving as many as 1,000 covers at a time, but is that really such a good thing?Some claims aren't easy to fact-check, so I can't be entirely sure that Za Za Bazaar, which opened in Bristol just before Christmas, is the largest restaurant in the UK. I think the boast, or admission, just about stands up: the main restaurant has a stonking 700 covers, and the bar downstairs, where you can get the same food, does another 300. That full-capacity figure of 1,000 punters means it comes in ahead of the current biggest of the biggies, Cosmo in Croydon, which can seat a piffling 800 customers. That's a hell of a lot of people eating a hell of a lot of food: the projection was that they were going to get through 5,000 chickens a week, and since they claim they served 60,000 customers over the Christmas period, I'd say they're on track. Imagine how depressed that would make you if you lived in the Bristol area and were a chicken.From the outside, the bright neon lights of Za Za Bazaar's two-storey building on Harbourside look lively and inviting, in a tarty way: if you didn't know what it was, you'd wonder what it was. I went on a Tuesday night in January, and booked a table at 7pm, thinking it was probably unnecessary. That was wrong: the place was heaving, with a queue at the entrance, and by 8pm there must have been a good 600 people inside. The contrast with the generally subdued, recessiony atmosphere outside was strong, and might well be part of the appeal.Another big part of the appeal is what business wonks call "the model". Za Za Bazaar is (sensitive foodie readers, please look away) an all-you-can-eat buffet. The idea is for it to be like an Asian street market, which is an attempted glamorisation of the reality that it is a "food court". A crucial part of the appeal is the pricing. The all-you-can-eat extravaganza ranges from £6.99 at lunch during the week to £15.99 on weekend evenings. That's not much for, well, for all you can eat. There are six separate cooking stations where you can load up on food, with a bar to the left to load up on drinks. This might sound brutish and basic, but the decor masterminds have used bright lights and Indian posters to jazz up the room; successfully, I would say.As for the food, the choice encompasses, to use their own categories, salads (subsections: salads, deli, sushi, take out), Far East (pho, starters, noodles, curries), Tex Mex (burgers, guest cuisine, barbecue, burrito and fajita), European (pasta, Brit classics, piri piri chicken, pizza), Indian (dosas, curries, kebabs and roti, starters) and desserts (cakes, ice-cream, patisserie, Indian sweets). Some of the food is prepared to order: noodles, pasta, dosas, fajitas and suchlike are put together by chefs while you watch. This helps ameliorate that depressing sense you sometimes have at a buffet that the food has been standing around for a while. The choice is numbing, and it would obviously be daft to assess the food as if it were trying to be fayne daining. Instead, Za Za Bazaar is pitched against the high street alternatives at around the same price point, and at that level does a pretty good job.The prime movers behind the restaurant are Indian, and the best food here is Indian. If you go to a swanky hotel in India, you'll quite likely be eating at a buffet anyway, so the concept feels less of a stretch. Pizzas were iffy, dim sum was just about OK, burgers came in a weird, rigid, poppy-seed bun, Irish stew was a mysterious parody, sushi was poor (all you can eat sushi for £6.99? Really?), cauliflower cheese and pork stir-fry would have been all right if they hadn't suffered from the buffet curse of being below tepid by the time I got back to the table. That's another thing – your separate trips to get food, followed by multiple queueing, make this an oddly uncompanionable form of eating. It doesn't seem to matter, though, because they're already planning to grow, with the next opening slated for Norwich; Za Za Bazaar is expanding. If you go there often enough, you will, too.• Za Za Bazaar Harbourside, Canon's Road, Bristol, 01179 220330. Open all week, 11am-11pm. All-you-can-eat £6.99 lunch and £12.99 dinner Mon-Thur, £9.99 and £15.99 Fri-Sun.
A wild camping trip in the Lake District is designed to take you out of your comfort zone – and with unpredictable weather and testing terrain, it certainly deliversI'm bursting. Crossing my legs. Trying not to picture rivers or waterfalls. I'll do anything to avoid leaving my tent for a pee. It's not just the biblical rain lashing against the canvas; it's the chilling reports of a ghostly horse roaming the local Cumbrian fells with a rotting human corpse strapped to its saddle.Camping is rarely so remote, weekend adventures rarely so removed from daily life. And that's exactly what Mark Reid wants. The mountain guide's new Out of Your Comfort Zone excursion pushes wild camping to its geographical limits, packaging it with glorious guided hikes, navigation instruction and survival tips for nervous rookies.Reid, who's aiming the breaks at walkers keen to "skill up", families looking for a bonding trip and unconventional stag parties, welcomes inexperienced campers. But this weekend – with his first recruits – he's in for a shock.Our group includes Rebecca, who recently lived in Mayfair and regards anywhere outside London as out of her comfort zone, and Jane – a begrudging companion for a hiking-obsessed partner – who believes tents are the work of Satan. She hires motorhomes to sleep at festivals, plans to tackle Cumbria's highest fells in green fashion trainers – "boots make my feet look like horses' hooves" – and has spent the previous week Googling "extra-springy camp beds".At least she'll enjoy the first night. Elterwater's Britannia Inn – a white-walled cocoon in the shadow of the Langdales – answers her call of the mild. Hell it's lovely, a converted 500-year-old beamed farmhouse and forge that offers open fires, cosy rooms and fresh seasonal grub.As we tuck into honey-glazed lamb marinated in mint, the air's heavy with camping horror stories: inch-long earwigs, sheep dung accidentally kicked into cooking pots, mattresses deflating in storm-soaked tents. Jane's partner has clearly been economical with the truth. She knows there'll be an element of camping – hopefully with hot showers and a nearby cafe – but has been lured north by the promise of boutique pubs and a gentle scenic stroll. This could get ugly.It will certainly get wild. Driving to the hike's departure point tests the car's clutch on the gaspingly steep switchbacks of the Wrynose and Hardknott passes. The western lakes are vast, uncluttered, less commercialised – and heartbreakingly beautiful.Our target is The Woolpack, an old drovers' pub where we're to receive a pre-trip briefing. Reid, who teaches navigation skills and leads team-building hikes, treats our night of wild camping as a mini-expedition. After outlining the route – up to Eskdale Moor and Great How to camp on Scafell's southern flanks before scaling its peak the following morning – he turns to legal issues. Wild camping, permitted in Scotland and on Dartmoor, is a tolerated tradition in the privately-owned Lake District, providing we camp above walled farmland and leave behind nothing but footprints.Slipping into full-on survival mode, Reid explains he'll lead us from our comfort zones into our stretch zones, where we'll hopefully acquire new wilderness skills. After a quick lesson in packing tents, stoves and sleeping gear – we're each carrying 15kg – the briefing finishes with us outlining our individual goals for the trip. "Survival," snaps Jane, reluctantly lacing her boots. "And Weight Watchers points. It's worth at least five glasses of wine. It's the only salvation." For the first time the guide looks puzzled – and slightly alarmed.It's an idyllic start. Eskdale Valley, prostrate beneath the magnificent bowl of Crinkle Crags, Bowfell and Scafell Pike, is licked by sun. We are serenaded by the babbling River Esk and occasional toots from La'al Ratty, as the narrow-gauge Ravenglass & Eskdale Railway is known.Walking couldn't be flatter. Or easier. Jane, who added last-minute weight to her rucksack by including a makeup bag, mirror and hairbrush – "just because I'm hiking, I don't have to look like a dog" – seems impressed. There's even memorable architecture. The 12th-century St Catherine's Church is swaddled by a beautifully manicured graveyard containing the extraordinary granite hunk of Thomas Dobson's headstone. The huntsman's eerie sculpted face peers at you with an enigmatic half-smile – a Cumbrian Mona Lisa flanked by fox and hound.We pass a handsome Lakeland house that inspires townie dreams of rural escape, sip a lunchtime pint at Boot's Brook House Inn and rise easily up the north side of Eskdale. Reid takes advantage of the sunny mood to evangelise about the confidence-boosting value of leaving our comfort zones, quoting Edmund Hillary after he'd climbed Everest. "It's not the mountain we conquer, it's ourselves."Rebecca and Jane nod eagerly. This can't last. The clouds start to mass 20 minutes later. As we reach the end of a 250m climb, the first fat raindrops thwack against our Gore-Tex. By the time we reach the stone circles and prehistoric mounds of Brat's Moss, it's pouring. A divine panorama over a silvery Solway Firth to distant Scottish hills vanishes in mist before our eyes.We break for a restorative cuppa at a bleak lodge known as the Blair Witch House, gazing across Burnmoor Tarn to the peaks of Kirk Fell, Black Sail and Great Gable. Apparently we're now reconnecting with the way our ancestors survived for the last 60,000 years before urbanisation, email and iPhones. No one cares. The downpour's intensifying, driven into our faces by a gusting westerly.And the walking's getting tougher. Far tougher. Our boots squelch through heavy mud in boggy, knobbly moorland. I turn round and do a double take. Jane is now carrying an open umbrella. We're in one of England's lairiest, most isolated spots but she appears to be strolling down the Kings Road.She's also leaking. Damp is rising up her back and down her legs. "I feel like I've peed myself. It reminds me of Duke of Edinburgh when I was cold, wet and shattered. It's exactly what I dreaded."Rebecca joins in: "I'm craving a hot bath."Reid vainly attempts to raise morale. "I'm not sure this line of thinking helps." He points to our final climb up the steep slope of Broad Tongue. "It's only a 260m rise – about the height of 26 semi-detached houses. Not too bad."We grind up, stopping for a breather after 27 bungalows. By the top we've been walking for six hours. Dense curtains of rain open and shut theatrically. Our camping area on Great How is only 500m away but visibility, daylight and energy are fading fast.Reid studies his map, swears several times and decides to head back to the safety of Eskdale Moor – an experienced guide ensuring we stay well outside our panic zones. It means the last hour's grim climb has been in vain. Jane slumps to the ground and sits, brolly raised, staring silently into thin air – a surreal René Magritte figure in the wilderness. She has entered her twilight zone.But the retreat is a good call. We find a textbook location for wild camping. Sheltered in the lee of Illgill Head, it's flat, free of sharp stones that can tear a tent, and close to fast-running water. There's space to go to the loo, well away from steep drops – the bete noire of incontinent, myopic ramblers.I'd happily reveal our spot, but then I'd have to kill you. Wild camping etiquette is to keep locations secret to avoid over-use. The only downside is the horror movie setting. We're bunking down slap-bang on the Corpse Road – the route once used to transport the dead to St Catherine's. One horse still haunts the moor with its decaying human cargo.Oh Lord. It's already an unsettling time to remain in the mountains. Known as homecoming, this is the hour when people traditionally descended to the safety of lower ground. To stay is to contradict hard-wired human knowledge.But there's little time to be spooked. As the rain eases we erect tents, helped by the ...
It has Dartmoor on the doorstep, but with a woodburner, faux fur throws and a well-stocked fridge, you may be reluctant to leave this converted photographic studio in DevonWe are in a hut in the woods. It used to be a photographic studio, Gemma Roberts is explaining as we tease mud off boots at the front door. The previous occupant of the main house just up the drive (rambling, white, where Gemma and husband Mark live) was a keen photographer.Our cabin – which they have converted into a holiday let – is in a rather murky spot (on this wet afternoon) just inside the gateway, reached by a track which traces a valley on the edge of Dartmoor. We are here, of course, because parts of the new Spielberg film, War Horse, were shot on the moor.Are we sure we wouldn't like Mark to escort us to the pub, asks Gemma. Or fetch us after dinner? We're OK, we say, but agree to a dummy run through the woods to practise the route before the light goes. At dusk, The Rock Inn, a Dartmoor institution, really is only five minutes' walk for me, friend Jane, Gemma and her labrador. But later, in darkness, when it's just the two of us and a torch, a very un‑Spielberg production comes to mind – The Blair Witch Project.What a coup though, a cosy cottage with a pub practically in the backyard. Mulled wine, Devon Ruby beef, a veggie Thai curry, fantastic cheeses – what luck. Then back (yes, shrieking like banshees) through the wood to our luxury hut.It has been refurbished with unusual reclaimed pieces. We have a bedroom each, tucked behind beautiful doors, one from a French apartment and the other from southeast Asia by the look of things. The main room is kitchen, dining and sitting room. A decorative hunk of wood from an Indonesian temple creates a mantelpiece above an antique woodburner. Lots of pretty touches, from woodland boughs in a vase to faux fur throws, a well‑stocked fridge (ooh, Green & Blacks chocolate), plenty of teas and jams. Our only serious complaint is that the sofa is unforgiving and small – not in the least conducive to lying supine by the fireside while tucking in to the delicious selection of old books. These are stacked on narrow shelves in the bedrooms. A smaller niggle is the lack of table lamps and side tables on which to place teacups.There is a telly but we prefer the radio. No light pollution outside, no phone signal. "Somewhere to get away from the jubilee, the Olympics and life in general," says Jane, stoking the woodburner.Rain is tapping on bedroom skylights as darkness lifts. No tripping over one another this morning – hurrah – we have our own bathrooms.Poached eggs on toast. Then out for a walk – booked with moorland guide Simon Dell, a retired policeman. "Ever seen a Dartmoor bog?" he asks. "Now, only step where I do." We follow an 18th-century granite tramway, built to transport quarried stone off the moor (before being taken to London) as Simon quotes from Conan Doyle, then recalls chases on Dartmoor in his policing days, after prison breakouts from the eponymous nick. By the time we come down from Haytor to the visitor centre, out of the raw, biting wind, we have been awed and enchanted as much as we could be by anything Hollywood could create.• Dinner at The Rock Inn (01364 661305, rock-inn.co.uk) costs £19 for two courses, excluding wine. Book walks with moorlandguides.co.uk. Check out dartmoor.co.uk for a great new app guide to the areaSally Shalam (sallyshalam.com, @sallyshalam)
Learning to make a poker on a blacksmithing course in Wales leaves Emma Kennedy feeling like a godSmith, one of Britain's most popular surnames, means metal worker, and there was a time when every village in the land had its own resident blacksmith. Not any more. Nowadays there are only 600 registered. "We're almost extinct," says Aaron Petersen, the blacksmith I have come to train with today.Aaron's forge, just past St Clears in Carmarthenshire and tucked up a long, curling track, is, on first impressions, the ultimate Dad's Shed. There's a smell of coal and kerosene in the air. At the far end, the forge is glowing red and is surrounded by anvils – there are two kinds: the London anvil, which has a pointed bick like a beak; and the Breton anvil which looks more like a sharp pig snout. On the walls hang every kind of hammer, tong and spanner you could ever imagine, while around us sit heavy pieces of equipment that I probably shouldn't even look at let alone have a go on. Old oil cans of every shape and size dot a high ledge, and on the far wall, just above the forge, there are a dozen old posters. "Those are from the early 80s," Aaron tells me. "I went on a Welsh blacksmith tour with my dad. We went all over the world."Aaron's background is in fine art, but his father was a sculptor and it was he who ignited Aaron's passion for blacksmithing. After a six-year stint as the resident blacksmith at the Welsh open-air museum at St Fagans, Aaron decided to set up on his own and pass on his knowledge to anyone who wants to learn.I've come to do a short morning course. I have no experience in metal work and my upper body strength is woeful. I've been warned this is going to be physical and I'm worried I'm not going to be able to do it.The first thing I get to do is stoke the forge, and as I poke it about a bit Aaron turns up the air valve and the small golden orb that sits sunken amid the black roars upwards. "In the old days," Aaron tells me, "the forge would be aired with bellows. They'd get small boys to operate them. Or dogs in wheels.""Did you always want to be a blacksmith?" I ask him, as he saws off a length of iron for me to stick into the fire."No," he answers. "I used to be in a punk jazz band. We were called Acme Jazz. I played the bass. Basically I played the same five notes for two years."Aaron decides to start me off with something small but concentrated. I'm going to try and make a hammer-in hook. The first thing I need to do is square off the round length of iron I've been given to work with. I've thrust it into the forge and when I pull it out, seconds later, the end is glowing white and fizzing."Shake it down towards the ground," Aaron tells me, and as I do, sparks of liquid iron scatter across the floor. It's brilliant."Ooooh," I say, grinning. And then I stick my rod back into the forge so I can do the fizzy thing again. And again. And then again."That's probably enough times," says Aaron, patiently.The work is hard but not impossible. Once I've got the hang of turning the rod and using the hammer quickly while the iron is hot, it's pretty straightforward and, using the bick, Aaron shows me how to curl the tip. Mine lacks sophistication but there's no doubt about it, I've made a hook. I'm bloody delighted."Right," says Aaron. "Now you're going to make something bigger."He cuts a thicker length of iron. I'm going to attempt a twisting poker. The hardest bit is making the rounded top end. This requires strength and precision, but even though I make mistakes, the fact I can stick my iron back into the fire and then rectify everything I get wrong is nothing short of wondrous. Somehow, an hour later, I have managed to make a working decorative poker that I could actually give to my dad for Christmas. I have never felt a greater sense of achievement.As Aaron passes me my now polished poker I am triumphant. "I have made things from only fire and iron. I feel like a GOD!" I declare.• Aaron Petersen runs one-day blacksmith courses for £130pp and two-day courses for £260pp. The next two-day courses are scheduled for 24, 25 February, 17, 18 March, 30, 31 March, 28, 29 April, 18, 19 May and 15, 16 June. For more information, call 01267 223932 or visit ferricfusion.co.uk. Emma stayed at Teifi Cottage in Trapp (01874 676446, breconcottages.com), which sleeps four, from £335 per week. For further information, see discovercarmarthenshire.com
In the fourth of our series celebrating aspects of London life as told by some of the city's extraordinary characters, we meet Daniela Essart, the artistic director and performer of Scarabeus theatre company, which creates aerial and abseiling 'dances' using the capital's buildings as a backdrop
South Uist: Pristine and wetly gleaming, the sand stretches for miles until it disappears into a mist of sunlit salt hazeThe sun is shining brightly from a blue sky across which a brisk breeze is driving a succession of shape-shifting, pillowy white clouds. Yet within minutes a dark cloud appears from nowhere and deposits a fleeting but heavy shower before speeding off into the distance. It's a day as lively and changeable as any in April. A perfect day for a beach walk. And what a beach it is this morning! A low tide has exposed far more sand than usual and the winter gales, which so often heap piles of kelp along the beaches, have conspired this winter to sweep away the weed as fast as it has been deposited.Pristine and wetly gleaming, the sand stretches for miles until it disappears into a mist of sunlit salt haze. A whitecap-strewn, sapphire-blue sea rolls surprisingly gently on to the beach, but farther out, where water meets half-submerged rock and reef, a line of constantly breaking surf reveals the still-disturbed nature of the sea. Periodically, a stronger impact than usual flings a ragged plume of water skyward.I set out along the beach accompanied by a group of glossy-winged ravens. They take off from the line of fence posts along the dune top, fly a short distance and then alight again a few posts along, where they wait for me to catch up before they take to the air again. Farther down the beach, a solitary gull remains motionless as I approach and then merely turns its head to regard me impassively as I walk past. In return I barely spare it a glance, registering it as a washed-out and rather mean-looking herring gull until I belatedly realise its overall impression of paleness is due to the lack of contrasting black primaries at the wing tips. It's not a herring gull at all but a glaucous gull, a winter visitor to our coasts and a clean-plumaged adult rather than the more commonly seen mottled immature bird.
Fancy spending Valentine's Day with your love in a gorgeous hideaway miles from anywhere? We have the perfect selection of romantic cottages for two – all still available for 14 FebruaryManal, Brechfa Forest, CarmarthenshireYou could hide away for days in this remote cottage surrounded by fields in a secluded, tranquil valley. There's no TV, but bring your iPod and play it as loud as you like – your only neighbours are the sheep. This cosy retreat has a woodburning stove, bathrobes and a kitchen well-equipped for whipping up a romantic feast. Work up an appetite walking through the nearby Brechfa Forest, or along the windswept sands of Cefn Sidan, eight miles away. Manal is available throughout February, costing £525 for three nights. • sheepskinlife.com North Barn, Whitestone Farm, Totnes, DevonWhether it's sunny or grey, the views of river and sky from your bed will lift your spirits. This lovely retreat, once an apple-sorting barn, has a galley kitchen, a bed on a low platform, and wood beam and glass doors that open onto a balcony - and the river beyond. The interior is stylish, with whitewashed wood panelling, and the woodburner takes centre stage. Nearby, you can explore the gardens of Dartington Hall – or you might fancy taking a wood-turning course, available on the farm next door. North Barn costs from either £100 a night or £500 a week, and is available from 5-20 February. • sawdays.co.uk/self-catering The Piece of Cheese, Hastings, East SussexCheesey in style, but not in shape … this quirky property is thought to be England's only three-cornered house. In the heart of the medieval old town in Hastings, it was built for a £5 bet in 1871. A seaside town out of season may not be everyone's idea of romance, but like other towns along the Kent and East Sussex coast, Hastings has undergone something of a transformation as the arrival of classy new B&Bs and hotels like Swan House, Black Rock House and the Zanzibar demonstrate, not to mention some lovely independent galleries and cafes. A three-night stay starting 13 February costs £307. • freedomholidayhomes.co.ukEllis-Miller House, near Ely, CambridgeshireIf you've ever fantasised about living in an ultra modern steel-and-glass home, this is a good place for a trial run. In the small village of Prickwillow but inspired by the California Case Study Houses (a post-second world war American experiment that saw leading architects of the day design and build moden homes), the property has featured in several architecture books. Sliding glass doors lead out onto a patio with views of the Fens and Ely cathedral about three miles away. Inside there's a large living room, bedroom with king-size bed and en suite bathroom. It's available in February for weekend or midweek breaks of three or four nights from £309.75. • best-escapes.comThe Boathouse, Ullswater, Lake DistrictIf it's seclusion you're after, this is the place – tucked away at the end of a track, surrounded by trees, and perched on the edge of Ullswater with its own private stretch of shore. A former (19th-century) boathouse, it's been converted into an open-plan bijou living space with wood-burner, battered leather sofa, bathroom, kitchen and bed that looks straight out across the lake – open the windows and lie there listening to the sounds of the water. Of course this is the heart of walking country so you're spoilt for choice – a book of walks is included. The Boathouse costs £555 for a three-night stay, starting 13 February. • i-escape.comLove Cottage, near Gargrave, North YorkshireIf you can deal with the pressure of booking somewhere called the Love Cottage over Valentine's Day, this one-bed conversion on the top floor of a 16th-century barn has nice touches for a romantic break, such as a four-poster and mullioned windows. The cottage is on an estate which you're free to walk around – guests also have fishing rights for the river Aire. Just up the road from the market town of Skipton – gateway to the dales – it's also a good base for hiking. Three nights from 13 February costs £300, or stay for four nights from £340. • yorkshire-cottages.info/yorkshire-dalesThe Retreat at Witherdens Hall, near Canterbury, KentWitherdens Hall is a retreat offering courses focused largely on the spiritual (reiki, sound healing) and the practical (breadmaking, bee-keeping). They also have a host of bookable therapists offering massage, and other healing techniques. But rent its sweet two-bedroom cottage and you will have the grounds and the mini spa (with infrared sauna, steam shower and treatment room) to yourselves. That's assuming you can rouse yourselves from the £5,000, "magnetic field" bed, said to guarantee a fantastic night's sleep. Pick your own vegetables from the garden (although possibly not in February) or make use of local farm shops. Meals can also be ordered in advance from MyDietInABox.co.uk. The Retreat costs £150 a night for two people, including organic breakfast. • organicholidays.co.ukThe Boathouse, Bonchurch, Isle of WightIf romance for you is blustery walks by the sea, few pads are better-placed than this. A cute chalet with french doors opening straight on to decking overlooking the beach at Monk's Bay (but on a private cul-de-sac, so no danger of passers-by knocking on the door and asking for a nose around) it's a little gem for beach lovers. The bed is on a raised platform – watch your head – and the living area is pretty compact so this is not a place for lounging around of an evening. For a good dinner try the Spyglass Inn (thespyglass.com) in Ventnor, a 20-minute walk away, or for a treat the Michelin-starred Hambrough (robert-thompson.com/restaurants/the-hambrough), also in Ventnor. Three-night stays cost from £220. • homeaway.co.uk/p12613Orchard Cottage, Holmesfield, DerbyshireThis converted 18th-century stable in the grounds of Horselygate Hall, where its owners live, screams "countryside", with a stag's head and a saddle hanging on the walls, a beamed ceiling, exposed brickwork and a pale blue Rayburn. It's just outside the Peak District national park so there are walks galore – or get your history fix at Chatsworth House, which is nearby, or the lesser-known Haddon Hall (haddonhall.co.uk). Described by Simon Jenkins as "the most perfect house to have survived from the Middle Ages", it's surrounded by Elizabethan gardens and rolling Peak District countryside. Four nights from 13 February costs £272. • cottages4you.co.ukThe Black Shed, Isle of SkyeA black shed doesn't sound very romantic, but this isn't any old shed. It's an award-winning contemporary dwelling on an 18-acre croft amid breathtaking scenery in north-west Skye. Set on a hill at the foot of Macleod's Tables it looks out to Loch Dunvegan and Dunvegan Castle on the opposite shore of the loch. With underfloor heating, sheep's wool insulation under timber cladding and a woodburner, you'll be as warm as toast indoors. There's a sleek hi-tech kitchen, and the owners can provide homebaked bread, eggs and seasonal produce, but a visit to the nearby and much-lauded Three Chimneys restaurant (threechimneys.co.uk) is a must. A week beginning 11 February costs £500. • blackshed.co.uk.For more holiday cottages and villas see guardiancottages.co.uk
Farr, Highlands: Halfway along there was a wide strip of ice from shore to shore with a few clumps of snow on top and then beyond more open waterThe sleet came across the loch in gusts, stinging my face if I faced the wrong way, and I sought shelter on the leeward side of the old boathouse clad with bark. Looking through the window I saw the old swallows' nest from last year with white droppings still staining the woodwork below. There was a lull in the wind and I set out along the edge of the loch for the distant Scots pines. The water lapped at my feet as I passed the boat we use to fish the loch in the summer. It was hauled out for the winter and by now we should have put it in the boathouse for when the weather turns for the worse.Strangely, the water of the loch was only rippling so perhaps the wind and sleet were battering it too much to make waves. One unusual aspect was that halfway along the loch there was a wide strip of ice from shore to shore with a few clumps of snow on top and then beyond more open water. I had expected whooper swans on the loch at this time of the year but there were no birds at all and it was almost eerie. Then a bird call as a raven's guttural croak came across the loch although I could not see the bird. The raven's call carries some distance so it could have been on the snow-clad hills behind.The Scots pines were as awesome as ever; the browns and reds of the bark contrasted with the dark green of the needles and well might they be called the "king of the forest". I felt I could just put my arms around the biggest tree but instead looked below for signs of red squirrels and crossbills. Some of the cones on the ground had been torn down to their cores, a sign of feeding red squirrels, while others were part open from crossbill activity. No sign of the culprits in such weather.
Whether your idea of fun is joining a literary salon or gazing at pickled body parts, London has something for all tastes. Been there readers share their tips for quirky experiences in the capital
• Add a tip for next week and you could win a digital cameraWINNING TIP: Gordon's Wine Bar, Charing CrossLong before it became a wine bar (London's oldest) in 1890, this building was home to Samuel Pepys and also a famous brothel. It feels untouched since Pepys left – nicotine-stained walls, history-stained stone floors, and candles lighting illicit encounters. The staff are efficient and friendly, and pull schooners of sherry, Madeira or port from barrels behind the bar. Excellent wines are also available, and homemade food has recently been introduced. 47 Villiers Street, WC2, 020-7930 1408, gordonswinebar.com. HerbalwalksFire Hazard gamesChasing zombies on Hampstead Heath, a checkpoint dash around Hackney, escaping a laser trap in Covent Garden … Fire Hazard games let me experience London in a completely different way. Trying to smuggle a cashbox up my jumper during a fake heist at an old police station was a highlight. The crew are great and these games for grown-ups usually end in the pub. fire-hazard.net PennygadgetThe Book Club Boutique, SohoBy far the craziest night out I've had in London was at literary salon The Book Club Boutique – a collection of eccentric London characters having a knees-up. There are bands playing, poets reading, actors swooning, and tales of life and love being shared in the beautiful chapel of the House of St Barnabas on Greek Street. There's excellent drink too, especially the exotic cocktails with hilarious names – I just wish I could remember them! thebookclubboutique.com MeerkatdrummerThe Hunterian Museum, Lincoln's InnThe Hunterian Museum at the Royal College of Surgeons has more than 3,500 specimens collected by anatomist John Hunter. There is a vast array of pickled body parts, the skeleton of a 7ft 7in "Irish giant", a grisly display of foetuses and Winston Churchill's dentures. You can try your hand at simulated keyhole surgery, and watch footage of brain surgery. 35-43 Lincoln's Inn Fields, 020-7869 6560, rcseng.ac.uk/museums, free entry TroutiemcfishNational Portrait Gallery, Trafalgar Square Visiting London, we happened upon a free drop-in drawing session at the National Portrait Gallery. The welcoming tutor placed a sheaf of cartridge paper and some pencils in our hands, and we were away. A great hour's fun. Even my wife, who hates drawing, found it engaging and was proud of her finished efforts, which we still have. St Martin's Place, WC2, npg.org.uk, free entry BurksSBOpen-top bus tourJane, a Londoner, was sceptical when I suggested this tour. Wrapped up warm, we sat on the top deck and learned an eclectic mix of history, celebrity and the macabre: Trafalgar Square's lions were cast from melted French cannons; Green Park was a graveyard for lepers. You can hop on and off as you like, and tickets, which include a river cruise, are valid for 48 hours in the winter. theoriginaltour.com, adult £23,child £11 PedanticOneHighgate CemeteryFor macabre Victoriana, take a walk round Highgate Cemetery. The West Cemetery is no longer open for roaming, but tours are entertaining and informative, with its catacombs, statuary, grand mausoleums and famous names. Swain's Lane, N6, 020-8340 1834, highgate-cemetery.org. Entry to East Cemetery £3, tours of East or West £7 LizCleerePostman's Park, the CityA captivating, quiet retreat near St Paul's. Since 1900 it has served as a Memorial to Heroic Self Sacrifice. Dozens of memorial tablets line the walls in poignant memorial of ordinary and otherwise forgotten people, who died saving the lives of others. King Edward Street, EC1 beaufortten
